During a recent Alba workshop, I introduced a small group to Neutral and Step-Out along with a brief discussion of the structure of Alba classes and how to safely explore pure emotional states. I mentioned that it’s an invaluable tool for actors and performers, but also very important (and even fun) for everyone to learn. Following the session, one of the participants nervously yet genuinely presented me with this question. “Why would ANYONE want to learn this?!”
When I had mentioned to the group earlier that ‘Alba is not acting emotion, it’s using emotion’, I could tell it struck her as strange. She went on to say, “I understand why actors would want to work on their emotions but why would anyone want to experience emotions like that?” And the discussion that followed her question was a great reminder to me that so many of us are uncomfortable with the idea of being emotional.
We tend to reserve the word ‘emotional’ only for the moments when we experience heightened unpleasant emotional states. But the reality is we are constantly flowing in and out of varying intensities of mixed emotions. We are always emotional. Yet we still reinforce such a social resistance to unpleasant emotions that we often try to block out the pleasant ones. The thing is, emotions can atrophy like anything else, our body doesn’t discern between pleasant and unpleasant emotions, and the ‘use it or lose it’ result can take away all of your emotions, even the pleasant ones, when you’re trying to only block the unpleasant.
Which brings us to the topic of emotional habits. We habituate socialized emotions, and I believe that is the greatest reason that everyone should want learn this! Essentially, there is a difference between natural emotional expression and socialized emotional expression. Which, of course, makes sense if you think about it – societies are more civil when we monitor and adjust our emotions around other people, we do this all the time when we are being polite.
Some of us, however, don’t receive that programming in healthy ways and so we habituate emotional patterns that can do more damage than good. This programming to censor or limit emotions is strongly socially enforced. That is where the importance of practicing an emotions technique becomes more apparent. If someone always blocks a certain emotion that they find unpleasant, that emotion will find a way to be expressed.
In our culture, two very common socially habituated emotional patterns that can be damaging is the Anger/Sadness switch often programmed into boys and girls. We tend to reinforce in young boys that it’s not appropriate to cry, and in young girls that it’s not appropriate to be angry. Often by age 6, the conditioning for this pattern switch is already established. The result is, as girls who receive this programming grow up, when they are in a situation that makes them angry, they begin to cry instead, leaving them feeling without permission to defend themselves. Conversely, as boys with this programming grow older and they are in a situation that makes them sad, they punch a hole in the wall instead of feeling permission to nurture themselves. But we all need to be able to protect and nurture ourselves. We have all of our emotions for a reason, and we need them to work as intended.
Can this pattern be broken? Of course, but you have to realize it’s there first. Practicing an emotions technique like the Alba Method will grow your awareness to how you have socialized your emotions and what habits are not benefiting you. From there it’s possible to break those habits and experience healthy emotional communication. Why would anyone want to learn this? To enable you to feel more like you, and less like everyone else.
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